stardusthill

Jodoh. Bila usia dah makin meningkat, perlahan lahan soal jodoh ni mengulit di fikiran.

Ya, ada orang bilang, soal jodoh saja yang kau fikirkan.. Soal mati? Yes, ajal maut, jodoh pertemuan semuanya di tangan Tuhan. Tak ada yang salah bicara soal jodoh. Asal tak lupa soal maut.

But that is not what I am going to talk about now.

Jodoh..

Kataku, aku garang, tiada lelaki yang setanding, tiada jejaka yang berani melangkah gerak,

Kata ibu saudaraku, ya, belum ada lagi yang mampu, tatkala ada, aku pasti tertunduk ayu~ (ayu?? O.o , okay, exegerate.. )

Kataku pada ibu, anak ibu garang, jejaka takut mendekati, ibu hanya ikut ketawa, menghibur hati tanpa bicara.. aku mengeluh.

Ada teman sudah punya anak, ada teman baru mendirikan rumah tangga, ada teman sudah bertunang, ada teman sudah berteman, ada teman hanya menanti ketika.. aku? Masih di sini, masih manja di sisi ibu dan ayah.

Sambil mengeluh melihat status status muka buku, sambil melihat foto di instagram, teman2 yang satu persatu melalui layar bahtera rumah tangga..

fikiran ku tiba tiba terdetik..

Kenapa Tuhan masih belum temukan aku dengan jodoh ku? Jawapan mudah sayang,, ada tepat di depan mataku.. pantas ku capai cermin di atas mejaku.. ku tatap amat wajahku yang tak seberapa.. ya itu lah jawapannya.

Aku belum bersedia..

Tuhan tahu, aku belum bersedia..

Sedang solatku jarang di awal waktu.. Terkadang melangkau antara azan.. Manakan mampu mahu berumah tangga.. Tuhan mahu aku perbaiki solatku dulu. Allahuakbar..

Tuhan tahu, aku belum bersedia..

Sedang kata ibu dan ayah belum mampu aku taati sepenuhnya. Terkadang mengeluh tatkala membantu, sedang yang di pinta hanya menyapu lantai. Sedang yang di pinta hanya menutup pintu. Tuhan mahu aku lebih menghormati orang tuaku, dan mendahulukan mereka, supaya nanti barulah aku mampu mentaati suami. Allahuakbar..

Tuhan tahu, aku belum bersedia..

Sedangkan memasak belum ku mahir. Hanya mampu membakar kek, roti dan masak goreng^II. Nasi goreng, mee goreng, mee sup, Maggie, telur goreng.. kek pavlova, kuih semprit, cornflakes madu, ampun. Masakan mahu ku jamu sang suami, dengan masakan begitu setiap hari? Belum sebulan membina masjid, jemu si dia dengan masakanku, mana tidaknya, sama seperti makan di kedai mamak, sama seperti zaman bujangnya, tiada nikmat kasih sayang, air tangan masakan isteri. Kari? Jauh di luar kemampuan diri.. masak pedas? Mengeluh mengeluh, panas tak tahu.. Gulai kuning? Ya, aku suka. Reti? Tidak.. jadi apa yang aku tahu? Goreng^II? Ahhh! Tumis serai~ masakan kegemaran.. J Saat itu, suami ku mungkin hanya mampu senyum tawar,

Tuhan mahu aku belajar dulu, mahirkan diri ilmu memasak, supaya mampu menambat hati, bakal si dia raja di hati..

Tuhan tahu, aku belum bersedia..

Usia sudah mencecah 20-an.. namun mengemas seminggu sekali. Selagi tidak semak pandangan, bilik ku biarkan bersepah berpanjangan, lbu membebel meleter panjang, tiada aku ambil peduli. Selagi kaki masih mampu ku sorong, tiada guna mengemas bilik. Bilikku, jajahanku.. Masakan mampu aku berlaki? Mau nya mengamuk si dia nanti. Pulang kerja penat dan lelah, anak menangis bising bergaduh, rumah pula bak tongkang pecah, isteri tercinta enak di sofa, melayan telenovela kegemaran, pulang kerjanya sudah kesiangan, namun tiada kerja yang selesai. Tuhan mahu aku perbaiki diri, belajar erti tanggungjawab, belajar senangkan hati orang tuaku, agar nanti mampu senangkan hati suami, Tuhan mahu aku belajar disiplin. Tuhan mahu aku belajar menjaga rumahtangga, agar senang di pandang setiap orang.

Tuhan tahu, aku belum bersedia..

Selepas subuh tidur di sambung. Terkadang terlajak hampir ke zohor. Ya, kerja tiada, apa yang susah. Ibu ada siapkan rumah. Bangun dan mandi makan tersedia. Tiada perlu bersusah kalut. Semua sudah di depan mata. Tapi, tatkala berumah tangga, makan pakai suami perlu ku jaga, tidak termasuk anak anak. Semua nya harus aku yang pikul. Bagaimana nanti jika aku masih begini? Ya, Tuhan mahu aku terus perbaiki diri. Belajar bangun pagi dan bersiap siaga. Belajar bersedia untuk sang suami. Agar rumah tangga bahagia sentiasa.

Akhir sekali, Tuhan tahu, aku belum bersedia..

Sedang ku masih belum, fasih bicara dengan dewasa. Ke temu saudara di mana mana, berpaling muka berpura pura, tiada ku tahu bagaimana untuk bicara, jika tiada ayah dan bonda. Bagaimana nanti jika berumahtangga? Mahu ku bicara dengan mertua? Ya, Tuhan mahu aku belajar, belajar bagaimana untuk bicara dengan orang orang tua, bagaimana untuk membawa diri, agar aku mampu menyesuaikan diri, dengan mertua dan ipar duai. Agar tiada kekok nanti, agar mampu ku jaga hati, agar mampu ku ambil hati, agar mampu aku menjadi penawar bukannya duri.

Kesimpulannya, Tuhan itu lebih mengetahui. Perancangan Tuhan itu lebih tepat untuk kita. Saat Dia tahu kita sudah bersedia, si dia pasti kan hadir.. Sabarlah wahai hati.. Tabahlah wahai jiwa. Perbaikilah diri mu terlebih dahulu. Dan percaya pada janji Allah.. Sekian.. J J

p/s : stay positive everyone. Congratulation to everyone who finally finding your soul mates recently and I wish you all happy wedding and God bless you all.. J

Adios, Assalamualaikum.. J

Gambar sekadar hiasan~ihsan pakcik Google~

Suke tak?? KaLau suKe Like dan KomenLah yer? ^_^

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those time I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really that necessary?
7. Map quest should really need to start their direction on no 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kinda tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it'll strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue ray? I really don't wanna have to restart my collection, all over again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asked me if I wanna save any change that I made to my 20 pages technical report that I swear I didn't make any change to.
14. " Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means it is going to be machine washed and tumble dried.
15. I hate it when I just missed a call by the last ring like " Hello? Hellooo?? **** it," but when I immediately call back, it rings seven times and goes to voice mail, like what the hell did you do after I didn't answer?? Drop the phone and run away??
16. I hate leaving the house looking all good and confident and then not seeing anyone important or significant the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so that I know not to answer when they call.
18, Yeah, I think the freezer deserve some light too,
19. I wish Google Map had an "avoid Ghetto option.
20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched once when I was younger and suddenly realized I had no idea what the heck was going on the first time I saw it.
21. I would rather carry ten overloaded plastic bags in each hands than taking two trips to bring my groceries in.
22. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I had and need to reply to a text.
23. I had a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
24. How many time is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they say?
25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars gang up together to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front? Hang on there brothers and sisters!
26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pant? No, never, you just can like wear them forever.
27. I think it’s just me, or is it the high school kids all do get dumber and dummier every year?
28. There's no worse feeling that the milliseconds you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair a bit too far.
29. As a driver, I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what mode of transportation I always hate motorcyclists and bicyclists.
30. Sometimes I look at my watch for three consecutive times and yet still didn't know what time it is.
31. Even under ideal condition, people often have trouble locating their car key in a pocket, finding their cell phone but I bet everyone can find a push the snooze button from three feet away in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

p/s : adios! ;p

Suke tak?? KaLau suKe Like dan KomenLah yer? ^_^